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Bridging the Break: How We Stay Connected With Youth Even When We’re Apart 

Across the world, this time of year brings a shift. Work rhythms change, programs pause, schools temporarily close, and many of us prepare for holidays or seasonal celebrations that mark the end of a year. 

In youth-serving spaces—whether we’re supporting children in schools, counseling rooms, community programs, shelters, after-school centers, or behavioral health settings—it’s natural to lean into the collective excitement that a “break” often brings. 

But trauma-informed practice teaches us to hold more than one truth at a time: 

Yes, breaks can be joyful. And yes, breaks can be deeply challenging. 

For some young people, time away from school or services means rest, tradition, play, and connection. 

For others, it means long stretches without predictable routines, fewer safe adults to check in with, complicated family dynamics, increased stress, or an overwhelming amount of unstructured time. 

A break from services can sometimes mean a break from regulation, safety, nourishment, or belonging. 

This isn’t a call to mute the joy of the season—it’s an invitation to widen the circle. Research consistently highlights the protective power of connection, consistency, and emotional safety—all of which can waver when routines pause. 

The good news? 
With intentional language and preparation, we can help every young person feel seen, supported, and ready for the break ahead. 

Below are practical, research-informed strategies to help ensure that every child or adolescent—excited, anxious, or somewhere in between—feels seen, supported, and equipped as we head into holiday and seasonal breaks.  

1. Reframe the Countdown: Keep the Excitement, Remove the Assumptions 

Across settings, we often hear: 
“Only a few more days until break!” 

That may feel celebratory to some youth—but for others, it signals the loss of stability, trusted adults, or emotional safety. 

Try shifting the narrative to be both warm and inclusive: 

  • “Break is coming up soon—let’s talk together about what we might need during that time.” 
  • “These last days before our pause are important. Let’s use them with intention.” 
  • “Break can feel exciting, overwhelming, uncertain, or something else completely. However you’re feeling is welcome.” 

These small shifts keep joy alive while also protecting the experiences of those who may be silently bracing themselves. 

2. Help Youth Build Predictability When Routine Is About to Disappear 

Research is clear: Predictability regulates the nervous system. 
Before your time together pauses, help youth map out what to expect—or what to reach for—when routines dissolve. 

Try a “My Break Plan” Activity: 

Include simple, accessible prompts: 

  • People I can reach out to if I need help 
  • Activities that calm me when I’m stressed 
  • My ideas for a daily routine (even broad categories: morning/afternoon/evening) 
  • Places in my community where I feel safe or comfortable 
  • Phone numbers or hotlines for support 
  • “What helps me when I feel…” (anxious, bored, overwhelmed, lonely) 

The aim isn’t perfection—it’s agency, which is deeply protective for youth who’ve experienced trauma. 

3. Strengthen Connection Before Services Pause 

Connection is not just meaningful—it is biologically regulating (Perry, 2021). 
Before a break: 

Offer universal, grounding messages: 

  • “No matter how your break goes, you still belong here.” 
  • “When we return, I’m excited to see you again.” 
  • “You matter to me and to this community.” 

Try a circle or group discussion: 

Normalize the full range of feelings: 
“Some people feel excited. Some feel nervous. Some feel both. All feelings are okay.” 

This creates space for honesty—and dissolves shame for those who aren’t looking forward to time away. 

4. Use Inclusive, Trauma-Sensitive Language Around Home and Family 

Winter closures and holidays often come with lots of “family” talk. But not all youth experience family as safe or comforting. 

Try shifting to phrasing that embraces all realities: 

  • Instead of “Enjoy time with your family!” 
    Try: “I hope you find moments of rest, joy, or comfort during the break—in whatever ways feel right for you.” 
  • Instead of “Tell your parents…” 
    Try: “Share this with the adults or caregivers who support you.” 
  • Instead of “What are your holiday traditions?” 
    Try: “What’s something you hope to do, try, or experience during the break?” 

Language matters. It signals that youth do not need a “certain kind of family” to be valued or included. 

5. Send Youth Into Break with Tools, Not Just Time Off 

Whether you support kids through therapy, mentoring, group work, drop-in services, or school-based programs, consider offering coping tools they can use independently. 

Build a “Break Resilience Kit” or handout with: 

  • Simple regulation strategies (breathing patterns, grounding exercises, movement resets) 
  • A menu of coping activities 
  • A list of local safe spaces/events 
  • A feelings wheel 
  • Positive affirmations rooted in resilience and identity 
  • Optional journaling prompts 
  • Crisis hotline numbers or resource contacts 

These are not ‘clinical interventions’—they’re lifelines of self-regulation and connection that kids can grab onto when needed. 

6. Support Caregivers Gently and Collaboratively 

Families are often navigating their own layers of stress, trauma histories, cultural expectations, or holiday pressure. 

A brief, compassionate message can make a difference: 

  • “Breaks look different for every family. Here are some optional ideas that may support consistency, connection, or calm during your time together.” 

Share simple co-regulation ideas caregivers can realistically do: 

  • Taking movement breaks together 
  • Practicing a shared breathing routine 
  • Setting a predictable mealtime, even if other routines shift 
  • Using emotion language intentionally (“I’m feeling overwhelmed—let’s take a breath together.”) 

7. Prioritize Your Own Awareness and Regulation 

Whether you’re a clinician, educator, youth worker, or support staff—your nervous system is a major intervention. 
Before break, reflect: 

  • How am I assuming youth feel? 
  • How can I stay grounded even as my own energy dips? 
  • Which youth might need an extra moment of connection before we separate? 

Regulated adults create environments where youth feel safe—even when the world outside feels unpredictable. 

8. Leave Youth With Hope—Authentic, Not Performative 

Hope isn’t pretending everything is great. 
Hope is reminding young people they have strengths, tools, and caring adults who will still be there on the other side of the break. 

Try messages like: 

  • “Whatever your break looks like, you have what you need to get through hard moments—and support if you need it.” 
  • “If things get tough, here are people and places you can reach out to.” 
  • “We will be here when you return.” 

Hope is one of the most scientifically validated resilience factors. And it costs nothing to offer. 

Closing Reflection 

Holiday and seasonal breaks impact young people in beautifully different—and sometimes painfully different—ways. 
A trauma-informed mindset doesn’t erase the joy; it simply makes space for all experiences. 

When we send youth into a break with regulation tools, predictable plans, inclusive language, and warm connection, we’re not just preparing them for time away—we’re reinforcing their sense of identity, safety, and resilience. 

We remind them: 

“Whatever this break brings, you are not on your own. You are seen, you belong, and we will be here when you return.” 

That is trauma-informed care. 
That is resilience science in motion. 
And that is how we help every young person feel held—even when services pause. 

🌟 Which strategy sparked something in you? Commit to trying one during this season of pause—and let us cheer you on. Share your resilience-inspired ideas for supporting yourself, your colleagues, and the youth you serve by tagging us on social media. Let’s ripple hope forward, together.  

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School Safety Meets Mental Health: Creating Environments Where All Students Thrive

Picture this: A student walks through the school doors each morning. What determines whether they’re thinking about algebra or where they’ll hide if something bad happens?

Here’s a truth that might surprise you: the same strategies that help kids feel emotionally safe also make schools physically safer. It’s not magic—it’s science wrapped in a whole lot of heart.

The Plot Twist Nobody Saw Coming

We’ve got some genuinely good news about youth mental health. Recent CDC data shows encouraging improvements—fewer teens reporting persistent sadness, declining suicide attempts among certain groups, and more young people getting the support they need. 
But here’s the plot twist: while mental health indicators improve, school safety concerns are climbing. Students reporting threats or injuries with weapons at school jumped from 7% to 9%. Nearly one in five students now say they’ve been bullied at school, and 13% miss school because they don’t feel safe getting there.

It’s like we’re solving one puzzle while another one gets more complicated. But what if they’re actually the same puzzle?

The Beautiful Connection Nobody Talks About

Here’s where it gets interesting (and hopeful): the strategies that build emotional resilience are the exact same ones that create safer schools.

Think about it. When students feel genuinely connected to caring adults, when they know their voices matter, when they’ve learned healthy ways to handle big emotions—that’s when schools transform. Not just into places where kids feel better, but also where they act better. 

At Starr Commonwealth, we’ve seen this connection play out thousands of times. Our Resilient Schools approach isn’t just about healing trauma—it’s about creating environments where everyone thrives. When schools embrace trauma-informed and resilience-focused practices, something beautiful happens: behavioral incidents decrease, academic engagement increases, and that intangible feeling of “school spirit” returns.

The Secret Sauce (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

The most effective school safety strategies don’t involve more metal detectors or security cameras. They involve more connection, more understanding, and more joy.

Relationship-rich environments naturally become safer environments. When a student feels truly seen by a teacher, when they know their struggles are met with compassion rather than punishment, and when they’re part of a school community that celebrates their strengths, transformation happens.

Our Resilience Schools project has proven this repeatedly. Schools that focus on building emotional intelligence, teaching conflict resolution, and creating inclusive communities see dramatic decreases in disciplinary referrals and safety incidents. It turns out that when kids feel emotionally safe, they help create physically safe environments for everyone.

What This Actually Looks Like on Monday Morning

Let’s get practical. Trauma-responsive schools that prioritize both safety and mental health share some key characteristics that we can easily replicate (it’s never too early to start prepping for the next school year, right?): 

  • Morning circles where students check in with each other—because connection and belonging is the best prevention strategy ever invented. 
  • Conflict resolution practices that teach kids to navigate disagreements without escalation—turn out to work way better than zero-tolerance policies. 
  • Sensory spaces where overwhelmed students can regulate their emotions—preventing meltdowns that might otherwise lead to safety concerns. 
  • Peer mediation programs that empower students to help each other—because teenagers are surprisingly good at solving problems when we give them the tools. 
  • Staff who understand trauma responses—recognizing that the “difficult” kid might actually be the scared kid, and responding accordingly. 

The Ripple Effect That Changes Everything

When schools get this right, the impact spreads far beyond test scores or incident reports. Students who feel safe and valued become adults who create safe and valued communities. They become the teachers, parents, and leaders who understand that true safety comes from connection, not control.

This isn’t just about preventing the next crisis—it’s about nurturing the next generation of humans who know how to build environments where everyone belongs. 

Your Move

Whether you’re an educator wondering how to balance safety protocols with healing-centered practices, a parent advocating for your child’s school, or a policymaker trying to allocate resources wisely, remember this: the most effective school safety strategy is also the most compassionate one. 

Start with connection. Lead with understanding. Create spaces where every student knows they matter. Because when kids feel truly safe—emotionally, physically, and socially—that’s when the real learning begins.

And that’s when schools become what they were always meant to be: communities where every young person has the chance to discover just how amazing they really are.

The future of school safety isn’t about building higher walls—it’s about building deeper connections. And that’s a future worth creating together. 
 
At Starr Commonwealth, we’ve spent decades proving that healing and safety go hand in hand. Through our training, consultation, and direct services, we help schools, families, and communities create environments where all young people can thrive. Because every child deserves to feel safe, valued, and full of possibility. Are you interested in learning more? Let’s connect!

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The Quiet Pain: What Youth Survivors of Sexual Assault Need Most 

You know it before they say a word. Sometimes long before they ever will. 

Maybe it’s the way they flinch when someone moves too fast. Or how they laugh a little too loudly, too often, as if trying to drown out a part of themselves they fear is broken beyond repair. Maybe it’s their need to control everything—or nothing at all. The way they bristle at kindness or seem to vanish in plain sight. 

This is how quiet pain enters classrooms, counseling offices, locker rooms, and living rooms. It doesn’t always come with words. But we feel it. In the heavy silences. In the resistance. In the fear behind the eyes of a child who has learned that the world isn’t always safe—or fair. 

These children didn’t choose their trauma. But now, they carry the burden of surviving it. 

What Survivors Need—and What They Don’t 

Sexual assault is one of the most invasive and complex traumas a young person can endure. And for those of us who work with youth—educators, counselors, coaches, mentors, social workers, caregivers—it often leaves us asking: 
What do I say? What do I do? How do I help when I can’t undo what’s been done? 

Start here: It’s not your job to “fix it.” 
You don’t need to rescue them or say the perfect thing. You only need to show up—steadily, consistently, compassionately. Show up and see them. Not for the behaviors that make them hard to reach, but for the human being behind those behaviors. 

Because often, what looks like defiance, disconnection, or disinterest is really a trauma response—the only way they know how to say: 
“I didn’t choose what happened to me, but I need someone to help me believe I still get to choose what happens next.” 

Creating Spaces of Safety and Belonging 

When the world feels unsafe, youth don’t need more lectures, pressure, or problem-solving. They need spaces where: 

  • They don’t have to be perfect to be protected. 
  • Love doesn’t have to be earned. 
  • Their “no” is respected. 
  • Their silence isn’t punished. 
  • They’re allowed to take up space—without explaining why they’re struggling to breathe in it. 

At Starr, we believe in the power of that space. We’ve seen the difference that one steady, trusted adult can make: someone who doesn’t look away when things get uncomfortable, who listens more than they speak, who doesn’t rush the healing—but sits in it with them. 

An adult who says: “You are not too much. You are not too broken. You are not too late. You are perfect exactly as you are.” 

What Support Looks Like in Action 

So, what does that support actually look like? 

  • Offering choices—big and small. 
    Ask, “Would you like to sit by the window or the door?” or “Do you want to talk now or later?” These moments return a sense of control. 
  • Respecting boundaries. 
    Even if you don’t understand them. Even when it’s hard. 
  • Letting them guide the healing. 
    Even if their journey doesn’t look like a neat, upward climb. 
  • Reclaiming mastery. 
    Help them try something new, succeed at something small, and feel capable again. 
  • Reconnecting with generosity. 
    When they’re ready, support them in rediscovering they still have something beautiful to give to the world. 

But above all else: Help them believe they still belong. 

The Wound of Disconnection—and the Power of Presence 

The deepest wound trauma leaves is disconnection. It whispers: 

You don’t matter. 
You’re not safe. 
You’re not lovable. 

Your role—our role—is to challenge that lie, every single day, with our presence, our patience, and our unwavering belief in their capacity to heal. 

Here’s the truth: We don’t see broken kids. We see brave ones. 
We don’t believe trauma writes the final chapter. We believe healing rewrites it—with love, safety, power, and resilience at the heart of the story. 

You Make the Difference 

If you’re doing this work—whether it’s in a school hallway, a therapy office, a kitchen table, or the sidelines of a game—thank you. You are the light in someone’s darkness. You may never fully know the impact you’ve made, but they will. One day, that child may look back and realize: 

They made it through because you stayed. 

In Honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, let us remember: 

Healing isn’t a magic word or a single breakthrough moment. 
It’s a thousand quiet acts of love, repeated day after day. 
It’s not perfect. 
It’s not always easy. 
But it is always worth it. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

If you’re supporting a young person impacted by sexual trauma—or any traumatic experience—Starr Commonwealth is here to walk beside you. Our tools, trainings, and programs are grounded in compassion, resilience, and belonging.

They don’t need us to have all the answers. 
They just need us to stay.