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Processing the Year Together: Creating Safe Spaces for Students to Reflect

Remembering the Classroom

I can still picture it perfectly: 3:47 PM on a Thursday, sitting in my classroom surrounded by half-empty water bottles, crumpled sticky notes, and approximately 47 markers that had mysteriously lost their caps (seriously, where did they GO?). Even now, years after leaving the classroom, I can close my eyes and see those empty desks that just hours before held my students—each one a universe of potential, challenges, and growth.

Looking back, I’m struck by how much happened within those four walls every single school year. We celebrated victories both big and small—from finally mastering long division to finding the courage to read aloud for the first time. We weathered storms together, too, supporting each other through friendship drama, family changes, and those inevitable “I just can’t today” moments that hit us all.

And now, as I work with educators navigating their own year-end reflections, I’m reminded of how crucial it was to help our students process everything they experienced.

Why Reflection Matters (Even When We’re All Running on Fumes)

Let’s be real—by this time of year, we were all operating on a unique fuel mixture of coffee, determination, and the promise of summer break. Our students were bouncing off the walls with spring fever, and we were trying to squeeze in every last standard while simultaneously packing up our classrooms. It was tempting to power through to the finish line.

But here’s what I learned through all those years: our students need time to make sense of their journey. In the Circle of Courage framework, this connects directly to the spirit of Mastery, not just academic mastery, but the deeper understanding of their own growth and resilience. When we create space for reflection, we’re telling our students that their experiences matter, their growth is worth celebrating, and their challenges have taught them something valuable.

Creating Your Classroom Reflection Sanctuary

So, how do we create these safe spaces when everyone’s attention span is approximately 3.2 seconds? Start small and keep it real. Here are some approaches that worked magic in my classroom:

  • The “Growth Garden” Wall
    I transformed a bulletin board into a living testament to growth. Throughout the final weeks, students would add “flowers” representing skills they’d mastered, “seeds” for goals they were still nurturing, and “roots” for the support systems that helped them grow. It was visual, interactive, and didn’t require sitting still for long periods (blessing!).
  • Circle Time 2.0
    Remember circle time from elementary school? I brought it back with a twist. We created a weekly reflection circle where students shared one struggle they overcame and one person who helped them. This built both Independence and Belonging—two more vital spirits from the Circle of Courage. Plus, it was amazing how a simple circle formation could transform classroom dynamics.
  • The “Plot Twist” Journal
    I gave each student a small notebook titled My Plot Twists. Throughout the day, they’d jot down moments when things didn’t go as planned, but they found a way through. It celebrated resilience while acknowledging that life is messy—and that’s okay.

Meeting Students Where They Are

Not every student eagerly dove into deep reflection (shocking, I know). Some deflected with humor, others insisted “nothing happened this year,” and a few would surprise me with profound insights that left me reaching for the tissues I kept hidden in my desk drawer.
The key was offering multiple pathways for processing. Some students expressed themselves through art, others through movement, and some through quiet written reflection. By providing various options, we honored the spirit of Generosity—allowing students to share their growth in ways that felt authentic to them.

The Ripple Effect of Reflection

When we prioritized reflection, something beautiful happened. Students began to view their challenges not as failures but as opportunities for growth. They recognized patterns in their learning and started to understand their own unique strengths. Most importantly, they developed the emotional vocabulary to process future experiences.

I’ll never forget one particular student—the same one who entered my classroom in August convinced he “couldn’t do school.” When he looked at his reflection timeline that last week, he said, “Wow, I really did learn a lot, didn’t I?” That moment? Worth every marker cap that went missing that year.

Supporting the Journey Forward

As educators, we know that helping students process their experiences is just the beginning. Building resilience, fostering belonging, and nurturing healthy emotional expression are year-round endeavors that extend far beyond our classroom walls.

If you’ve found value in creating reflective spaces for your students, you might appreciate additional resources designed to support social-emotional growth throughout the school year. Our store offers thoughtfully crafted materials that align with the Circle of Courage principles—from daily check-in activities to comprehensive units on building classroom community. Each resource is created by educators who understand the beautiful chaos of real classrooms and the profound importance of helping students heal and thrive.

A Final Thought

Even now, when I think about those marker caps (they were always in the pencil sharpener tray, because of course they were), I’m filled with gratitude for every year of growth I witnessed—both my students’ and my own. Creating safe spaces for reflection isn’t just about ending the year well; it’s about honoring the journey and preparing our students for all the adventures ahead.

So here’s to the messy, beautiful work of teaching. Here’s to the students who challenge us, inspire us, and remind us why we chose this calling. And here’s to taking a moment—even in the chaos of year-end—to help our students see how far they’ve come.

After all, every ending is a beginning in disguise. And our students deserve to step into their next chapter knowing they have the strength, skills, and support to write a remarkable story.

And yes, I still buy markers in bulk. Old habits die hard.

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Connected Care: Trauma-Informed Partnerships

How resilience-focused collaboration transforms communities and the young people we serve

There’s a moment that happens in community meetings—you’ve probably experienced it yourself. Someone shares a story about a student or client, and suddenly everyone in the room is nodding. The school counselor recognizes the family dynamics the therapist describes. The community center director has seen that same kid light up during their after-school program. The pediatrician remembers a conversation with the mom just last week.

That’s when it hits you: we’re all working with the same young people, seeing different pieces of the same beautiful, complex puzzle. So why are we still working in isolation?

When the Lightbulb Finally Goes On

For years, I thought good intentions were enough. If we all cared about kids and worked hard, surely that would be sufficient. But trauma doesn’t respect organizational charts or budget cycles. Neither does resilience. Both operate in the messy, interconnected reality of young people’s lives, between classroom and counseling session, playground and home.

The Circle of Courage philosophy opened my eyes to something Indigenous communities have always known: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity aren’t checkboxes to tick off in different settings. They’re the air kids breathe—or the oxygen they’re desperately missing—everywhere they go.

The “Aha” Moment of Connected Care

Picture this: Sarah, a seventh-grader, walks into first period carrying the weight of her parents’ late-night argument. Her math teacher, trained in trauma-informed practices, notices her fidgeting and offers a quick check-in. But here’s where it gets interesting—because the school counselor and local family therapist have been collaborating, they already understand how her nervous system responds to stress.

There’s no starting from scratch, no rehashing the same background story. Instead, there’s seamless continuation of care. Her strengths and needs are understood across settings, from small-group belonging to mastery through creative writing.

This isn’t magic—it’s what happens when trauma-informed care becomes the common language binding our work together.

From Silos to Circles

Here’s the old model: School calls home about behavior issues. Parent schedules therapy appointment. Therapist works on coping skills. Community center sees acting out during programming. Everyone develops their own theories, their own interventions, their own paperwork. The kid? They’re exhausted from explaining themselves over and over to well-meaning adults who can’t seem to talk to each other.

Now imagine this: Those same professionals gather monthly to genuinely understand how trauma shows up differently in their respective spaces. The educator discovers why “just ignore it” doesn’t work when a child’s fight-or-flight system is activated. The therapist understands why traditional talk therapy falls flat for a kid who needs to feel successful and capable in academic settings first.

The game changer? When they start seeing the young person’s behavior as information rather than defiance. When they recognize that what looks like defiance in the classroom might be the same nervous system dysregulation showing up in the therapy office, just with different clothes on.

The Real Talk About Building Bridges

Building strategic partnerships isn’t always smooth sailing—let’s be real about that. There are funding tensions, scheduling nightmares, and that one person in every meeting who still thinks their organization has all the answers.

But here’s what I’ve learned: the best partnerships start with curiosity rather than expertise. They begin when someone brave enough says, “I don’t understand why this intervention isn’t working. Can you help me see what I’m missing?”

The partnerships that actually stick—the ones that transform how young people experience support—share some beautiful characteristics:

When Everything Clicks (And Why It’s Worth the Work)

There’s this ripple effect that happens when community partnerships hit their stride. Teachers feel supported, not isolated. Therapists align treatment with daily realities. Parents aren’t caught in a communication maze. And the kids? They start to relax. When adults in their lives are finally coordinated, consistent, and genuinely collaborative, kids can stop managing all of us and start focusing on their own healing and growth.

I think about Marcus, a kid who used to shut down completely whenever adults tried to “help” him. But when his teacher, counselor, and youth program coordinator started working as a team—really working together, not just exchanging emails—something shifted. Marcus began to trust that adults could actually be helpful rather than just intrusive.

The Circle of Courage came alive for him in real time: belonging in the classroom community his teacher had created, mastery in the art program where his talents were recognized, independence through choices he was given in his therapy work, and generosity when he started mentoring younger kids at the community center.

The Investment That Pays Forward

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: time, money, and professional development. Building these partnerships requires investment in training, in relationship-building, in learning new skills. Some days it feels easier to just stay in our silos.

But here’s what I’ve discovered: when communities invest in shared learning around trauma-informed care and resilience-focused practices, something beautiful happens. Not only do individual organizations get stronger, but the collective capacity for healing grows exponentially.

The most transformed communities I know prioritize learning together. They bring educators and clinicians into the same training rooms. They create opportunities for cross-sector teams to develop shared expertise in trauma-informed approaches. They understand that sustainable change requires sustained commitment to growing together, not just growing apart.

There’s something powerful about a social worker and a second-grade teacher sitting side by side, learning about the neurobiology of trauma. Or a mental health counselor and a youth program director discovering together how to create environments where young people naturally develop resilience.

This shared learning doesn’t just build skills—it builds relationships. And relationships, as we know, are where healing happens.

The Future We’re Building Together (And Why I’m Optimistic)

Some days, the world feels overwhelming. But then I step into communities where real partnership is happening—and I find hope.

I see schools where trauma-informed practices aren’t just policies in a binder—they’re the heartbeat of how adults interact with young people every single day. I witness mental health providers who don’t just treat symptoms in isolation but work seamlessly with educators to create comprehensive support systems. I watch community organizations become spaces where young people don’t just hang out—they discover their own power to contribute and lead.

The Circle of Courage stops being a nice philosophy and becomes lived reality. Belonging happens in classrooms designed with trauma-informed care in mind. Mastery develops through strength-based approaches that see potential instead of problems. Independence grows when young people experience consistent, respectful support across all their environments. Generosity flourishes when kids see adults modeling collaboration and mutual aid.

The Work That Matters Most

Building strategic community partnerships is both simpler and more complex than it seems. Simple because it starts with curiosity, respect, and shared commitment to young people’s wellbeing. Complex because it requires us to examine our assumptions, learn new skills, and sometimes admit we don’t have all the answers.

Young people are always watching. When they see adults collaborating with authenticity, they learn what strong relationships look like. Every time we choose to listen, to collaborate, to grow together—we teach them that community matters. That healing is possible. That they are not alone.

This isn’t just about serving young people better—though it absolutely does that. It’s about demonstrating that healing happens in community, that resilience grows through connection, and that even the most challenging problems become manageable when we face them together.

Together, we can build that reality. One partnership, one shared training session, one collaborative relationship at a time.

Ready to explore what deeper collaboration could look like in your community? Sometimes the best partnerships begin when we stop trying to figure it all out alone and start learning alongside others who share our commitment to young people’s healing and growth. Start today by becoming a Certified Trauma and Resilience Specialist.

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Courageous Choices in the Classroom: Prioritizing SEL to Fuel Student Growth (and Keep You Inspired) 

Dear Teachers—yes, you, the superhero with the coffee-stained lanyard and 37 tabs open in your brain—we see you. And this one’s for you. 
 
Let’s be real: teaching today isn’t for the faint of heart. You’re asked to be a mentor, counselor, parent, content expert, tech whiz, classroom manager, emotional barometer, snack distributor, and walking encyclopedia—all before lunch. And yet, here you are, still showing up, still giving your all. Why? Because you remember your “why.” 
 
You didn’t step into this work just to cover standards—you came to change lives. To spark curiosity. To be the one who sees the student who thinks they’re invisible. And during Teacher Appreciation Week, we want to say this loud and clear: 
 
We appreciate you. We honor you. We’re here to support you. 
 
At Starr Commonwealth, we believe that at the heart of every strong classroom is a relationship—and at the root of every learning breakthrough is emotional safety. That’s why we’re passionate about helping you prioritize social-emotional learning (SEL) from a trauma-responsive lens that fuels resilience in every student. 

Why SEL Matters Now More Than Ever

Think of your classroom as a garden. You can scatter all the academic seeds you want—but if the soil isn’t healthy, the learning won’t grow. SEL is that fertile ground. When kids feel safe, connected, and seen, their brains literally open up to learning.

As Dr. Bruce Perry and other trauma experts have taught us, children’s brains aren’t wired to learn when they’re stuck in survival mode. So before we pile on fractions or figurative language, we must ensure we’re addressing their most basic needs first—just like Maslow before Bloom, and the Circle of Courage before curriculum.

4 Courageous SEL Choices You Can Make (Even On the Tough Days)

Inspired by the Courageous Choices framework, here are four practical, teacher-tested strategies that put resilience and SEL front and center—without adding 10 more things to your to-do list. 

1. Choose Connection Over Compliance
Before correcting a behavior, ask: What is this child trying to communicate? 

🛠️ Try this: Greet each student by name every day. Post a “mood meter” check-in at your door. Use a quick “2×10 strategy”—two minutes of conversation for 10 days straight with a student who needs connection most. 

2. Choose Safety Over Shame
Mistakes happen (yes, even on your 3rd cup of coffee). Help students learn that it’s safe to stumble here—and that repair is always possible.

🛠️ Try this: When correcting behavior, stick to “what” and “why,” not “who.” Use restorative questions like: Who was impacted? What needs to be made right?

3. Choose Regulation Over Reaction
Their behavior may be loud, but the root cause is often silent. Dysregulated kids aren’t “bad”—they’re overwhelmed.

🛠️ Try this: Create a calm-down space in your room. Teach and model co-regulation—deep breaths, grounding techniques, even brain breaks with a touch of humor (“Dance like your WiFi just came back!”).

4. Choose Strength Over Struggle
Every student (yes, even that one) has brilliance inside them. Sometimes, you have to dig a little.

🛠️ Try this: Give students meaningful classroom jobs that build belonging. Celebrate small wins. Use language like “I noticed…” or “You showed courage when…” to spotlight their resilience.

Take Care of You, Too—Because You Can’t Pour From an Empty Coffee Mug

Educators often feel like the last on the list. But your well-being isn’t a luxury—it’s essential.

❤️ Pro tip: Build your own SEL routine. Take 3 deep breaths before the bell. Keep a gratitude jar. Vent to a trusted colleague. Say no when you need to. You’re human, too—and that’s your greatest teaching superpower. 

A Final Note of Appreciation

Teaching is a courageous choice. Every day you choose to show up, even when it’s hard. You choose to believe in kids who don’t yet believe in themselves. You choose to plant seeds you may never get to see bloom. 

But we see you. And we’re grateful beyond words. From all of us at Starr Commonwealth: Thank you for your heart, your hustle, and your unwavering hope. May this Teacher Appreciation Week remind you that your work—and your why—matters more than ever. 

Want more support for building SEL and resilience in your classroom?
Check out our Courageous Choices tools and resources—created with you in mind. And, in celebration of Teacher Appreciation Week, we’re saying thank you with a special gift!

When you purchase any Courageous Choices package between now and May 31, you’ll receive a FREE tote bag with your order—a small token of our appreciation for the big work you do.


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Pixar’s Win or Lose: A Home Run for Social-Emotional Learning and Resilience

A college friend of mine worked as an animator at Pixar, which is one of the many reasons I’ve followed their films so closely over the years. I also have a child who loves baseball—so when I heard Pixar was releasing a new series called Win or Lose, I couldn’t wait to check it out. The show brings together personal passion, family connection, and meaningful storytelling in a way that really connects with Starr’s mission to build understanding, foster connection, and support healing.

With plenty of humor, emotional depth, and relatable stories, Win or Lose follows a co-ed middle school softball team in the week leading up to their big championship game. Each episode focuses on a different character’s perspective—from players to parents to the umpire—offering a unique look at how personal experiences shape how people see the same moment. It has captured my heart—and it’s why I believe it’s a must-watch for educators, parents, and professionals committed to trauma-informed care and social-emotional learning.

This shifting perspective offers a powerful lesson in empathy—and mirrors the principle that behavior is communication. Like the show’s characters, the children we work with bring their own stories to every situation. Trauma, adversity, and stress don’t always show up in obvious ways. They show up in avoidance, outbursts, perfectionism, or withdrawal. They show up in how kids play the game—not just whether they win or lose.

What’s Really Going On? Teaching Empathy and Building Resilience

Each Win or Lose episode invites viewers to ask, “What’s going on behind the behavior?” It’s a question we encourage educators, caregivers, and community leaders to ask every day. This kind of curiosity creates space for kids to feel like they belong—something that’s at the heart of our Circle of Courage® model and essential to building resilience.

Seeing the same story from different points of view is a powerful reminder: everyone has a story. That message lines up perfectly with our Certified Trauma and Resilience Specialist online courses. In it, participants learn how to recognize signs of trauma and respond with compassion. It’s not about fixing everything—it’s about showing up, being curious, and really seeing each child for who they are and what they’ve been through.

A Teaching Tool for SEL in Classrooms and Beyond

Win or Lose can also be used as a powerful conversation starter in classrooms and youth programs. Educators can guide students through exercises in perspective-taking, emotional regulation, and storytelling—all key components of social-emotional learning (SEL).

Looking for activities to use in the classroom? Our book Mind Body Skills: Activities for Emotional Regulation includes simple, effective ways to help kids improve their emotional regulation by strengthening the connection between thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. In addition, our Courageous Choices program helps kids manage emotions, build positive behaviors, and use SEL skills in everyday life.

From the Screen to the Real World

At Starr, we talk often about creating environments where children feel safe, seen, and supported. Pixar’s Win or Lose gives us a beautiful roadmap for how that might look in practice—through understanding, empathy, and connection.

So as you laugh, reflect, and maybe even tear up while watching, think about how this kind of storytelling can shape the way you see and support the kids in your life. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, social worker, or youth advocate, this series is a powerful reminder that building resilience starts with seeing the whole child.

To learn more about how Starr Commonwealth can support your SEL and trauma-informed care journey, visit our online store or check out our professional learning opportunities. Let’s keep doing the work—together.

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Beyond the Behavior: A Trauma-Responsive Approach to Youth Substance Use 

The rising rates of substance use among youth—whether it’s vaping, alcohol, or other drugs—are an urgent and undeniable reality in our schools and communities. But what if we told you that substance use isn’t the problem? What if we looked beyond the behavior and saw it for what it truly is—a symptom of something deeper? 

As school professionals and leaders, we have a choice: we can continue to chase symptoms, reacting with punitive discipline that often reinforces harm, or we can commit to understanding why a young person turns to substances in the first place. 

At Starr Commonwealth, we believe in the power of Resilience-Focused Schools, where we recognize that behavior is communication and that every child can heal and grow when we meet their core needs. 

Addiction as a Response to Pain: What Are Students Really Telling Us? 

We often focus on what we can see—students vaping in bathrooms, smelling of smoke, or getting caught under the influence. But substance use is not about the nicotine, alcohol, or drugs themselves. It’s about the need those substances are temporarily filling. 

Young people turn to substances as a means of coping with overwhelming emotions—fear, anxiety, loneliness, stress, or trauma. When they don’t feel safe, when they lack a sense of belonging, or when life feels unpredictable, substances offer an escape. Addiction is not about seeking pleasure—it is about seeking relief. 

To make a lasting difference, we must first seek to understand rather than control. The question isn’t “How do we make them stop?” but rather “What pain is this child trying to numb?” 

The Circle of Courage: Meeting Needs Before Addressing Symptoms 

When we discipline students for substance use without addressing the why, we risk deepening their sense of disconnection and reinforcing the very emotions that led them to use in the first place. Suspension, exclusion, and shaming don’t solve the problem—they amplify it. 

Instead, we can turn to a strengths-based framework like Starr’s Circle of Courage® model, which identifies four universal needs that every young person must have met to develop resilience:

✔ Belonging – “Do I matter? Who truly sees me?” 
✔ Mastery – “Am I capable? Can I be successful in something meaningful?” 
✔ Independence – “Do I have agency and control over my life?” 
✔ Generosity – “Can I contribute? Do I have a purpose beyond myself?” 

Circle of Courage Folders

Substance use often signals a breakdown in one or more of these areas. If a student does not feel connected, confident, or valued, they will seek relief in whatever way is available—whether that’s vaping, drinking, or using other substances. 

Rethinking Our Response: From Punishment to Restoration 

It is easy to feel frustrated when students make harmful choices. But we must ask ourselves: Is our response helping them heal, or is it pushing them further into distress? 

Exclusionary discipline—suspension, expulsion, and zero-tolerance policies—often send the message: You are bad. You don’t belong here. And when a young person feels even more disconnected, their reliance on substances often increases, not decreases. 

Instead, we can shift our approach by: 

✔ Building Authentic Relationships – Before we can influence a student’s choices, we must first earn their trust. Young people need to know that we see them, we care, and we will not define them by their worst moments. A student who feels valued is less likely to seek validation in unhealthy ways. 

✔ Using Restorative Conversations – Rather than asking, “Why did you do this?” try “What’s going on with you?” or “What do you need right now?”. The goal is not to punish but to uncover the underlying emotions driving the behavior. 

✔ Offering Meaningful Alternatives – Instead of automatically suspending, consider interventions that rebuild connection rather than isolate. Some schools have introduced healing circles, mentorship programs, and peer accountability processes that allow students to take responsibility without being cast out. 

✔ Addressing Root Causes – This means looking beyond the incident to what is happening in the student’s life, school experience, and community. Are they struggling with mental health? Are they facing challenges at home? Are they feeling unseen and unheard? Until we address these factors, any intervention will be temporary at best. 

Beyond Discipline: Creating Pathways to Hope and Healing 

The way we choose to respond to student substance use will either open a door to healing or reinforce the very pain that fuels the behavior. We are not just educators, administrators, or school leaders—we are lifelines for students who may not have anywhere else to turn. 

This is not about ignoring consequences. It is about ensuring that the consequences we choose actually help, rather than harm. 

So, the next time you see a student struggling with substance use, pause before reacting. Instead of asking, “How do we punish this?”, ask “How do we heal this?” The answer may change everything. 

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Transform Learning with Social-Emotional Skills

Courageous Choices: Empowering Students

Courageous Choices is a comprehensive social-emotional learning (SEL) program that equips students with essential skills in emotional awareness, self-regulation, and resilience. Available in versions for K-5 and early childhood (Pre-K), the program addresses the critical need to build self-awareness and foster lifelong self-regulation strategies. This updated edition continues to offer CASEL-aligned tools for teaching social, emotional, and behavioral skills, grounded in trauma-informed and resilience-focused principles. Through Courageous Choices, students learn to manage emotions, improve behavior, and apply these skills in all areas of life, both in and outside school.

What’s Included?
Courageous Choices offers a rich suite of materials to support SEL in classrooms and behavioral health settings, designed for skill development, practice, and reinforcement.

  • Guidebook: Printed and digital guidebooks per grade level
  • Calming Corners Visuals: Tools for a self-regulation space in each classroom
  • Google Slide Lessons: Ten digital lessons to introduce each SEL skill
  • Posters: Display materials to support continuous skill reinforcement in the classroom
  • Student Worksheets: Exercises for practicing and reviewing each skill
  • Parent/Caregiver Strategies: Tools to encourage skill reinforcement at home

What Sets Courageous Choices Apart?
Courageous Choices is a flexible and impactful SEL program with unique benefits for teachers and students:

  • Seamless Integration: Complements any SEL curriculum, enhancing existing programs with minimal disruption.
  • Real-World Application: Provides students with actionable skills to manage stress, regulate emotions, and build resilience.
  • Trauma-Informed and Resilience-Focused: Built on trauma-informed principles, helping students develop resilience to face challenges.
  • Flexible Implementation: Suitable for both school and behavioral health settings, adapting to diverse learning environments.
  • Lifelong Skills: Prepares students to apply social and emotional skills across settings for lasting personal growth.

Bring Courageous Choices to Your School or Organization
Empower your students with tools for social, emotional, and behavioral success—in school and beyond. Purchase Courageous Choices or contact us to see how it can meet your unique needs.

    Have questions? Contact our experts to learn more about how Courageous Choices can benefit your students.

    Take the first step toward building a resilient, emotionally aware learning environment!

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    Building Sustainable Mindset Shifts Together: A Journey to Trauma-Informed Resilience

    If you’re working with youth today, you know firsthand how complex it is to meet their needs, especially for those who carry profound experiences of trauma.  Many of us entered this field because we believe in the potential of every young person. Yet the realities of trauma, adversity, and instability often make it challenging to help each child reach their fullest. At Starr, we understand these challenges deeply, and it’s led us to develop resources to support you in this work for over 100 years—to help foster the safety, resilience, and compassion that children and youth need to thrive.

    Shifting to a trauma-informed, resilience-focused approach is a journey that goes beyond policies and daily practices. It’s a mindset shift that takes root slowly and grows with each new experience and insight. Embracing this approach can mean rethinking not just how we interact with children but how we support each other as professionals. It’s a change that is as much about empowering teams as it is about helping children. We’re here to walk this path with you, offering resources that aim to make this journey sustainable and impactful for both children and the adults who guide them.

    Building Internal Capacity: Empowering Each Team Member

    At the heart of any lasting change is a strong, empowered team. We know that when every team member has a foundation of shared understanding and practical tools, they can better support each other and the children they serve. That’s why our certification programs are designed to support capacity-building in ways that fit the needs of various professional settings, from K-12 education to clinical and early childhood environments.

    For K-12 educators, our Trauma and Resilience in Education Certification offers specific, actionable steps that educators can use in their classrooms and school communities. The learning process and resources help answer not just “why” trauma-informed practices matter but “how” to create an environment where students feel safe and supported. We’ve found that as educators integrate these practices, they support students and build a resilient, cohesive team that feels equipped for the challenges of this work.

    In clinical settings, the Certified Trauma and Resilience Specialist in Clinical Settings provides clinicians with a range of trauma-sensitive interventions tailored for those working directly with children experiencing trauma. We’ve included sensory-based tools and strategies to address trauma symptoms like anxiety and aggression, along with resources for ongoing self-care. This certification is about more than just gaining new techniques; it’s about building the resilience of clinicians themselves, fostering a sense of confidence and support in each session.

    For early childhood professionals, our Trauma-Informed Early Childhood Certification focuses on the unique needs of young children. This process offers guidance on creating predictable, nurturing routines, and trauma-sensitive interactions so that children feel safe and connected, especially during this foundational stage of their development. Our hope is that these resources provide early childhood teams with a framework they can integrate into their daily work so that even the youngest children experience security, stability, and care.

    Caring for Ourselves as We Support Each Other

    We understand that supporting children who have experienced trauma is deeply rewarding but also emotionally demanding work. As professionals, it’s easy to put the needs of others before our own, but trauma-informed work must include taking care of ourselves and each other. Each certification program integrates self-care resources and reflective tools, such as the Circle of Courage Self-Assessment, allowing teams to check in with their own well-being. These resources are reminders that being trauma-informed is as much about supporting adults as it is about supporting children. When each team member feels valued and equipped to take on challenges, they can show up wholeheartedly for their colleagues and the children they serve.

    Walking This Path Together

    For us, supporting trauma-informed, resilience-focused work is about more than training; it’s about being a part of a larger journey to create safe, supportive environments where every person—children and adults alike—can heal, grow, and thrive. Whether you’re just beginning this shift or building on what you already know, we’re here as a partner, offering our hand as you continue your journey. If you’re exploring ways to bring a trauma-informed, resilience-focused approach to your team, we welcome you to take a look at our certification options. Each one is crafted to be a steady companion, offering practical support, reflective resources, and a community that understands the meaningful work you’re doing.

    Together, let’s create spaces where every interaction with a child is a chance to build trust, foster resilience, and instill hope. We’re here for every step of this journey, helping to make lasting change, one interaction at a time.

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    Transforming PBIS with the Circle of Courage

    Close your eyes for just a moment and picture this: a school where every staff and student steps into a world of warmth and possibility, feeling truly seen and ready to thrive—this is the magic that happens when we weave Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) with a trauma-informed approach. As educators and educational leaders, our role is pivotal in fostering resilience, connection, and strength. With this vision in mind, let’s explore how we can enhance PBIS to align more with the Circle of Courage philosophy, thus embracing a trauma-informed lens.

    The Circle of Courage: A Beacon of Hope

    At the heart of this approach is the Circle of Courage, a framework rooted in every child’s four universal needs: Belonging, Mastery, Independence, and Generosity. This philosophy provides a rich tapestry on which we can weave the principles of PBIS, transforming our schools into sanctuaries of support and growth.

    PBIS and Trauma-Informed Care: A Natural Harmony

    Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) already incorporates elements that resonate with trauma-informed practices. PBIS emphasizes creating a safe and predictable environment, which aligns seamlessly with the need for Belonging. By establishing clear expectations and consistent routines, PBIS nurtures a sense of safety, a cornerstone for all children, especially any child who has faced trauma.

    Furthermore, PBIS’s focus on teaching and reinforcing positive behaviors dovetails with the Circle of Courage’s emphasis on Mastery. When we teach students the skills they need to succeed, we’re not just imparting knowledge but fostering resilience and confidence.

    Strategies to Enhance PBIS with a Trauma-Informed Lens

    While PBIS is inherently supportive, there are several strategies we can adopt to make it even more aligned with the Circle of Courage, thus enhancing its trauma-informed nature:

    1. Cultivate a Deep Sense of Belonging

    The cornerstone of a trauma-informed PBIS approach is creating an environment where every student feels genuinely welcomed and valued. This means going beyond superficial gestures and embedding belonging into the fabric of daily interactions. Celebrate individual and collective achievements, create inclusive spaces where every voice is heard, and engage families as partners in this journey.

    → Inspiration to Ignite: Consider implementing “Belonging Circles,” where students and staff share stories and celebrate one another’s contributions. These moments not only build relationships but also reinforce that every member of the school community has a unique place and purpose.

    2. Foster Mastery through Strengths-Based Feedback

    Trauma-informed PBIS should focus on recognizing and building upon each student’s strengths. Implement a feedback system that highlights what students are doing well and provides opportunities for them to demonstrate their talents. Rather than merely correcting misbehavior, offer constructive guidance that empowers students to grow and achieve mastery in various areas.

    → Inspiration to Ignite: In practice, this could look like using “Strengths Spotlights,” where teachers regularly acknowledge and showcase student strengths in the classroom. This not only boosts individual confidence but also reinforces the notion that everyone has valuable contributions to make. (Hint: staff can also do this to acknowledge one another!)

    3. Encourage Independence with Compassion

    Independence is a vital component of the Circle of Courage, but it must be approached with sensitivity, particularly for students who have experienced trauma. Provide opportunities for students to make choices and take responsibility in a supportive environment. Empower them to set personal goals and reflect on their progress, while offering a safety net of support and encouragement.

    → Inspiration to Ignite: Implement “Choice Boards” in your classroom where students can select activities or projects that align with their interests and strengths. This approach fosters a sense of agency and self-direction while maintaining a supportive framework.

    4. Promote Generosity through Community Building

    Generosity, the final element of the Circle of Courage, can be deeply interwoven with PBIS by creating opportunities for students to engage in acts of kindness and service. Encourage collaborative projects, peer mentoring, and community service initiatives that allow students to give back and make a positive impact.

    → Inspiration to Ignite: Organize “Generosity Days” where students participate in acts of kindness within the school or the broader community. These experiences not only build empathy but also reinforce the value of contributing to the well-being of others.

    5. Creating a Culture of Resilience

    By enhancing PBIS with a trauma-informed lens, we’re not just improving a system but nurturing a culture of resilience, strength, and hope. Every interaction, every strategy, and every practice becomes a stepping stone towards building a more supportive and empowering environment for our students.

    As educators and leaders, let us embrace this journey with open hearts and unwavering commitment. Let us infuse our PBIS practices with the warmth of compassion, the clarity of purpose, and the strength of resilience. Together, we can create a thriving educational ecosystem where every student feels they truly belong, can master their challenges, and are empowered to make a difference.

    Circle of Courage
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    Five Ways to Foster Resilience

    As professionals dedicated to working with youth, we are entrusted with a profound responsibility and a unique privilege: to shape and influence the lives of the young people we encounter. The most critical protective factor for increasing a child’s resilience is ensuring they believe they have at least one adult who loves them irrationally and unconditionally. This can be achieved by authentically connecting with children in a way that feels natural to them.

    Every interaction with a child is an opportunity to foster resilience, build trust, and nurture a sense of belonging. Through the Circle of Courage principles and a trauma-informed approach, we can ensure that every child feels loved, valued, and cared for, exactly as they are and who they hope to be.

    The Circle of Courage: A Foundation for Resilience

    The Circle of Courage outlines four essential components that contribute to a child’s sense of belonging and overall well-being: Belonging, Mastery, Independence, and Generosity. Integrating these principles into our daily interactions creates an environment where children can thrive, even in adversity.

    1. Belonging: Cultivating Connections and Community

    The cornerstone of resilience is a strong sense of belonging. Children need to feel that they are part of a community that values and accepts them. As professionals, we can foster this by:

    • Proactively Responding to Bids for Attention: Children often fulfill their need for attention through their behavior, whether it’s positive or negative. By recognizing and responding to these bids in real-time, we affirm their worth and show them that they are seen and heard. A smile, a kind word, or a moment of undivided attention can make a world of difference.
    • Creating Inclusive Environments: Ensure that every child feels welcomed and included. Celebrate diversity and make a conscious effort to understand each child’s unique background and experiences. This helps build a community where every child feels they belong.

    2. Mastery: Encouraging Growth and Achievement

    Children need opportunities to learn, grow, and achieve. When we help them build skills and celebrate their successes, we empower them to take on new challenges confidently.

    • Setting Achievable Goals: Work alongside children to set realistic and attainable goals. Celebrate their progress, no matter how small, and provide positive reinforcement to encourage continued effort and persistence.
    • Offering Support and Resources: Provide the tools and resources children need to succeed. This might include tutoring, mentorship, or access to extracurricular activities that align with their interests and talents.

    3. Independence: Empowering Self-Agency and Choice

    Children need to feel that they have control over their lives and the ability to make choices. By fostering independence, we help them develop a sense of responsibility and self-efficacy.

    • Encouraging Decision-Making: Involve children in decisions that affect them. This can be as simple as allowing them to choose their activities or as significant as involving them in developing their own support plans.
    • Respecting Individuality: Recognize and honor each child’s unique strengths, interests, and needs. Encourage them to explore their passions and support them in pursuing their own paths.

    4. Generosity: Instilling a Sense of Purpose and Connection

    Helping children understand the value of giving back and contributing to their community fosters a sense of purpose and connection.

    • Modeling Generosity: Show children what it means to be generous through your own actions. Volunteer together, engage in community service or random acts of kindness, and discuss the importance of helping others.
    • Creating Opportunities for Contribution: Provide children with opportunities to contribute to their community through small acts of kindness or larger community projects. This helps them see their potential to make a positive impact.

    Joyful Engagement: The Heart of Trauma-Informed Care

    A resilience-focused approach requires us to meet each child with empathy, patience, and joy. By embracing every interaction as an opportunity to uplift and support, we can transform the lives of the children we serve. Here are some practical ways to infuse joy and care into our daily interactions:

    • Be Present: Give children your full attention. Listen actively and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
    • Celebrate Uniqueness: Acknowledge and celebrate what makes each child unique. Encourage them to express themselves and validate their experiences.
    • Foster Positive Relationships: Build strong, trusting relationships with the children you work with. Show them that they can rely on you for support and guidance.
    • Maintain a Positive Outlook: Approach challenges with a positive attitude and a problem-solving mindset. Be the calm that helps children see obstacles as opportunities for growth and learning.
    • Authentic Connection: Make every effort to connect with each child in a manner that resonates with them. Understand their language, their interests, and their needs. Show them that your care and love are unwavering and unconditional.

    By incorporating these practices into our work, we can create environments where children feel safe, valued, and empowered. Every interaction is a chance to build resilience, and by embracing this opportunity, we can make a lasting impact on the lives of the young people we serve. Let’s commit to making every moment count, nurturing resilience, and ensuring every child knows they are loved and cared for exactly as they are.

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    School readiness and success: Are you meeting basic needs?

    Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and the Circle of Courage model of Resilience

    Conversations and curriculums to promote school readiness in early childhood programs tend to focus on cognitive development, academics, concentration, and focus. In many cases, the priority must be basic needs. For children to be successful in school, they need to be well-fed, sleep well, feel safe at home, and have confidence in themselves. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a popular theory, which focuses on a series of needs to be successful.  He considered five needs – physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization- and put them in a pyramid. A person reaches their fullest potential, beginning with the foundational aspects of the basic needs – physiological and safety – and only when those needs are met does a person eventually reach self-actualization.   

    The Circle of Courage, a model of resilience, suggests there are four universal needs for all human beings. These fit within the framework of Maslow’s Hierarchy and include belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.

    Both are helpful reminders that all learners are less likely to succeed if their basic needs are unmet. And for many children experiencing too much stress and trauma, their needs are not met.  The hierarchy of needs can help identify gaps; for example, breakfast might need to be provided for children who come to school hungry.

    Considerations and Suggestions for meeting needs in early childhood centers

    If you go through the details of the needs, this may become clearer in the context of children who are experiencing stress and trauma and what they need most to have a successful school experience.

    Physiological needs include proper nutrition and water, access to fresh air, and enough rest, exercise, and warmth. Trauma-informed considerations include:

    Is the child eating enough nutritious food?
    What is the child’s sleep schedule?
    Does the child have shoes that fit correctly?

    Suggestions to meet physiological needs:

    • Snacks, free and reduced breakfast, and lunch options.
    • Available drinking water, working drinking fountains, and extra water bottles for those who need them.
    • Extra clothes, coats, hats, and mittens for accidents and playing outside in colder weather.
    • Nap or rest time.
    • Plentiful undirected play and exploration.

    Safety needs are about security and feeling safe – physically and emotionally, as well as the need to have shelter/home and stability in one’s life. Trauma-informed considerations include:

    Does the child know what to expect?
    Do they have a predictable routine?
    Is support provided when the child is learning a new skill?

    Suggestions to meet the need of safety:

    • Rules – many verbal reminders and visuals posted.
    • Expectations – consistent and follow through.
    • Support during transition times.
    • Feedback and support with everything.

    Belongingness and love have to do with others, the social side of feeling that you belong, are connected, loved, and included. Trauma-informed considerations:

    Does the child have friends?
    Is the child securely attached to at least one caring adult?
    Have adults modeled how to share and take turns?

    Suggestions to support meeting the need for belonging and love:

    • Cooperation experiences with ample support.
    • Opportunities to take turns and share toys and supplies.
    • Plentiful social and playtime with other children.

    Esteem, Mastery, and Independence concern the inner self – having feelings of achievement, being recognized, having power over one’s life, and being a unique person with strengths and talents. Trauma-informed considerations:

    Does the child have someone who pays attention to their achievements?
    How often does the child receive compliments?
    What is the child good at doing?
    Does the child have access to co-regulation with a caring adult?

    Suggestions for meeting the needs of esteem, mastery, and independence:

    • Notice children – often smile, wink, fist bump, and say their names.
    • Compliments from adults and peers.
    • Laughter and smiles galore.
    • Practice and support with emotional awareness and regulation.

    Self-actualization and Generosity involve achieving one’s full potential, being creative, and finding that specialness of oneself. Trauma-informed considerations:

    Does the child have access to a safe area to play with supervision?
    Has the child ever completed a chore such as putting away toys in a box?
    Does the child show empathy for others?

    Suggestions to meet the needs of self-actualization and generosity:

    • Free play and exploration.
    • Opportunities to help one another.
    • Age-appropriate classroom jobs.
    • Service learning – making pictures/cards for hospitals.

    Find more resources for supporting kids in early childhood care here.

    Circle of Courage
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    Looking through a Circle of Courage Lens: Why the “other kids” are not the “other kids”

    It is bound to happen. In a school, a daycare, a sports practice – maybe even in the middle of a religious service. A child – of any age – will misbehave, perhaps melt down, and even experience a crisis because, for any number of reasons, they cannot manage their overwhelming feelings. Their reactions in these moments can be intense, scary, aggressive, or destructive.  Trauma-informed, resilience-focused adults can help support and regulate a child when this happens, using de-escalation and co-regulation tools and strategies. This is helpful for the child who is in crisis.

    Other children and adults, however, often wonder, “What about the other kids?” This is a fair question that is prompted by additional concerns such as:

    • Is it all right for children to witness others struggling? Will it traumatize them?
    • Who will attend to and care for the children not currently in crisis?
    • Why don’t children who act out and cause disruptions have more consequences?
    • It isn’t fair that some children have more attention from the child-caring adult in charge than others.

    Let’s look at how we might view these scenarios through the lens of the Circle of Courage resilience model. Throughout, the questions to the above frequently asked questions will be addressed.

    Adults can prepare children in their care for these scenarios so everyone knows what they can expect—telling children what might happen, how the adult will respond, how the adult will prepare them for this kind of experience, and what will happen afterward.

    Belonging.
    All children need to feel a sense of connection and belonging – no matter what. It should not depend on their willingness or ability to be a particular person. Belonging isn’t a privilege but a fundamental human right (Shalaby, 2017). Children don’t get traumatized because they are hurt; they get traumatized because they are alone with that hurt (Mate, 2021).

    A script for the adult:
    Everyone struggles from time to time. Depending upon what is happening in your life or what has happened, along with your ability to cope, will depend on how you respond to certain situations. This does not make you bad or good – it just is. Chances are, we will experience someone in our group having a hard time – this could be a hard hour or even a hard day. I want you to know that if that happens, I will do what I can to help that person feel better. I will not be mad at that person, and they will not get in trouble. If they are struggling – it means that they need my help. I will ensure you all have a chance to learn and practice what you can do if something like this happens. When someone is struggling, things might get loud and unstructured, but I will do everything I can to keep all of us safe. I may be able to do that independently, or I might call another adult to help me. Later, when things settle down, we will always have an opportunity to talk together about what happened if you want to. We can do that as a group or individually. Even if one of us disrupts our room, everyone will always be welcomed back when calm and settled.

    Mastery.
    We cannot assume that all children have learned to regulate their emotions and behaviors. Children must have several opportunities to learn and practice emotional awareness and regulation.  Just like learning to read and solve math problems, children must be taught skills and engage in experiences to try out what they have learned.

    A script for the adult:
    We will spend some time practicing techniques to help relax our bodies. We will practice different ways to slow down our breathing, close our eyes, imagine a happy memory, color designs, draw pictures, or write down our thoughts and feelings. All of us should practice how to calm ourselves down. I want you to feel good at calming yourself down, but I know this isn’t easy for everyone – it takes time and practice.

    Independence.
    Children feel safe when they know what to expect and when they are given choices about how to respond in potentially disruptive situations.

    I want you to know that this room might not feel very calm if a child struggles. However, even if it is noisy or chaotic, please know I will take care of that. I will keep my voice even and stay in control.  You can do what you need to do for yourself and others around you. Maybe you will try one of the relaxation techniques we practice. You may find that you want to go out into the hallway; you can do that; please stay close to the wall by our room. You may find that you want to put your head down on your desk, which is all right, too. Maybe you will want to sit with one of your friends. You have a choice about how best to take care of yourself.

    I know it might not seem fair for those of you who are not disruptive and stay calm most of the time – you might think, why don’t you spend so much time with me, or why doesn’t that person get into more trouble? I understand why you may feel that way. Nevertheless, I have learned that what is fair is not always equal – some of us need more support than others. You know, I would need a lot of support picking apples from a tree because I am not very tall – I might need a stool (or a ladder), but someone else might be able to reach up and pick apples easily because of their height. Is it fair that I get a stool, but the other person does not? The other person does not need a stool, silly, but I do! So, this is the same as staying calm. Some of us find it more difficult than others, so some need more support. That is how it works – if someone needs something, we try to give it to them. As far as consequences are concerned, I think that if a person has a tough time, that is enough pain, and it does not do anyone any good to make them feel worse by punishing them on top of it. I will instead help teach them to better manage a situation next time with additional strategies and practice. I will support them.

    Generosity.
    We all have difficulty managing our emotions and behavior occasionally. This can be especially difficult when going through a particularly stressful time or have a history of very stressful experiences in our lives. We feel valuable when we can have empathy for and provide support to others.

    A script for the adult:
    Try to understand that the person struggling is not trying to be “bad,” but rather, they cannot manage their emotions and behavior and need help. You may find that you want to be with one of your friends and find a place in our room where you can sit together while I attend to the child who needs me, and if that is the case, please join your friend. If you are someone who feels good about your ability to calm yourself down and you find others having a hard time with what is happening in the room, please help your friends if they need support. I appreciate that we will all look out for one another.

    There are no “other kids”; there are all kids. Providing unconditional connection and belonging, tools to help children manage their behavior and emotions, the agency to make choices when faced with difficult situations, and permission to use their value to support others can empower all children.


    Download your free Mind Body Skills tool now!

    References
    Shalaby, C. (2017). Troublemakers lessons in freedom young children in school. New York, New Press.
    Mate, G. (2021). The Wisdom of Trauma. Zaya Benazzo. Science and Nonduality.

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      Resilience I Spy

      Finding the Circle of Courage in Action

      Start the New Year with a focus on resilience by teaching your students about the Circle of Courage. Then, challenge them to eye-spy the resilience model’s components in action. 

      Circle of Courage: A Model of Resilience

      This resilience model is easy to teach students of all ages.

      “We all have four universal needs. When these needs are met, we feel our best. But we will not feel our best if even one of the four universal needs is unmet. When even one is missing, we might feel sad, frustrated, worried, or angry. Let me tell you about the four universal needs. 

      The first one is Belonging – we feel good when we feel like we belong. This can be at school with friends or at home with our families. We feel connected to other people when we feel a sense of belonging. 

      The next universal need is Mastery. We feel good when we can accomplish and are good at something – this can be like solving a math problem, learning a new skill while playing a sport, or drawing a picture that makes us proud. 

      Independence is the third universal need. This need is met when we control our emotions and behavior. This doesn’t mean we don’t get upset – it just means if we get upset, we know what to do to help ourselves feel better, so we don’t lose our temper or misbehave. 

      The last universal need is generosity. We get this need met when we feel helpful and valuable to others. 

      To review, we all need to feel like we belong or are connected to others, are good at something, can stay in control of our emotions and behavior even when we are upset, and feel like we are valuable to other people.“

      Offer your students an I Spy Challenge

      As a fun way to start the new year, I am challenging you to a game of eye-spy. In this game, I want you to try to notice your classmates and me when we are getting any one or more of our universal needs met or helping another person obtain one of their needs.  

      Whenever you notice the Circle of Courage in action, you can raise your hand and say, “Eye-Spy”. Then, you can tell us what you saw. For example, when a classmate greets another student when they enter the room by saying, hello, they are making that person feel like they belong. If a student helps another student learn how to solve a tricky math problem, they demonstrate mastery. When a student asks for a break instead of yelling or getting angry, they are showing us independence. And, lastly, if I ask a student to bring something down to the office for me, they are being generous. 

      Ask students to give you more examples. You can add the examples to a whiteboard, so they are easy for students to reference. Then, start the challenge. You might want to have one or two students keep track of how many universal needs in action are spotted by using a tally for each.  You can play along too. Set a goal for the class for a total number of universal needs spotted during the day. Reinforce the importance of all students getting their universal needs met to feel their best. When all students are aware of others and strive to help meet their needs, the overall classroom culture and climate will improve. 

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      Intentional Connection Over the Holiday Break

      We are quickly approaching the final days of instruction for many before schools close for holiday breaks. A lot of teachers and students are looking forward to a couple weeks of rest, relaxation, and some fun. However, breaks from school for some students bring stress. This is because when school is not in session students lack opportunities to interact with caring adults and peers, and have little or no consistency to help structure their days. This is difficult, especially for traumatized children who thrive when they experience predictability and connection.

      Why are the holidays hard on mental health?

      The holidays can be a hard on anyone's mental health. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, 9 in 10 adults struggle with this time of year including a 41% increase in stress reported compared to other times of the year. When adults express their stress and anxiety, kids notice. While traditional "holiday stress" can include financial concerns, busy schedules, or thoughts of loved ones, this collective stress can also find it's way into our school climate as well.

      Common concerns for students around the holidays

      In between the fun of class parties, the scramble to wrap up projects, and teaching the importance of generosity during this season are several underlying concerns for our most vulnerable kids:

      • Fears of Routine Change: For some students, the structured environment of school provides a sense of security and predictability. The holiday break disrupts this routine, leading to anxiety and uncertainty. This is particularly challenging for students who thrive on the regular schedule of school days–the sudden lack of structure can be disorienting and stressful.
      • Domestic Situations: Unfortunately, not all home environments are conducive to relaxation and safety. For students facing challenging domestic situations, school is often an escape and a place of support. The holiday break can mean an extended period in an environment where they may feel unsafe or unsupported, exacerbating feelings of anxiety and isolation.
      • Financial Concerns: The holiday season often brings additional financial pressures, which can be acutely felt by students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds. The lack of access to school meals and the expectations of the holiday season can add to the stress, making them worry about basic necessities and the inability to participate in holiday activities that might require financial expenditure.

      Support Mental Health over the Holidays

      The holidays are a time of year where the felt effects of connection are incredibly important. It's also a time where we all should find the opportunity to reset.

      For those teachers and students who enjoy breaks – relish in every moment!

      • Get outside on sunny and warm(er) days
      • Connect with family and friends outside or virtually
      • Take a nap
      • Read a book
      • Catch up on movies and shows

      For those who need consistency and connection, educators might try one of two of the following strategies

      • Schedule email messages to be sent a few times over break to students who benefit from interactions
      • Invite students to a “challenge” where they write down one thing every day that made them feel happy – tell them you will check in with them after the break for a full report.
      • Take some time in class this week to create a sample “holiday break” schedule for students where they identify two or three things they will do each day (e.g., play outside, read for 15 minutes, connect with a friend).
      • Remind them that even when you do not see them in class or virtually, you are thinking about them and will be excited to see them when you both return from the break.
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      How can you Create a Trauma-Informed Resilient Classroom or School?

      Step 1:  Focus on Student Resilience

      What is student resilience?

      Student Resilience is the ability to achieve positive outcomes—mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually despite adversity.

      To focus on student resilience, start by creating a set core of values and beliefs about the children you serve.  The Circle of Courage is a model of positive youth development based on the universal principle to be emotionally healthy, all youth need a sense of belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.

      Circle of Courage


      What does this look like in a school?

      Belonging at school is when every student believes they are valued, seen, heard, and cared for.

      Mastery at school is when every student believes they can achieve despite their challenges.

      Independence at school is when every student believes they have the power to make decisions that will impact their own lives.

      Generosity at school is when every student believes they have a purpose for their lives that can positively contribute to the world.

      Click here for a resilience activity to help connect more with your students.

      Looking to learn more about how to do this in your classroom or across your building for all students? Reach out to Starr Commonwealth today for a personalized consultation about our training and consulting services to help ensure every child learns in an environment where they can flourish!

      learned helplessness in students child with shadow of strong person
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      Learned Helplessness in Students

      Learned helplessness in students is a psychological phenomenon in which children begin to feel as though they have no control over the events or circumstances happening to them, which can manifest within in the classroom. This can lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and a lack of motivation. For students who are experiencing the effects of trauma or toxic stress, the signs of learned helplessness can be exacerbated even further.

      Recent research has shown that there is a strong connection between learned helplessness and trauma. Trauma and toxic stress can lead to a feeling of helplessness, as individuals may feel as though they have no control over the traumatic event that occurred, was witnessed, or perceived. This feeling of helplessness can then lead to the development of learned helplessness, as individuals begin to believe that they are unable to change or improve their circumstances.

      How to overcome learned helplessness in the classroom

      Teachers should look for several signs of learned helplessness in students in order to identify who may be struggling. Some of the signs that teachers should look for include (and how to help the child):

      • Lack of motivation: Students who have learned helplessness may lack motivation and engagement in the classroom. They may avoid participating in class discussions or completing homework assignments. Try breaking work into smaller “bite-sized” pieces that you’re confident the student can achieve, or work with the student to find a method or platform for participation that ensures both the student’s sense of safety and an accurate representation of the student’s learning.
      • Low self-esteem: Students with learned helplessness may have low self-esteem and a negative self-image. They may be critical of themselves and their abilities. Make sure to find opportunities for praise to reinforce all that the student can do well.
      • Difficulty with problem-solving: Students with learned helplessness may have difficulty solving problems and may give up easily when faced with a challenge. Establishing effective routines can be a great solution to this issue. By defining routine as wide-ranging as daily class schedules to the steps to solving math equations, we can help students perceive any situation as a series of steps to work on one at a time.
      • Avoiding challenges: Students with learned helplessness may avoid challenging tasks or activities in the classroom. They may prefer to stick to what is familiar and comfortable, rather than taking risks and trying new things. When we can understand the benefit of failure, we’re more likely to test ourselves. So, celebrate failures! [Also, the Circle of Courage’s universal need of mastery is a perfect topic to explore to begin embracing challenge.]
      • Passive attitude: Students with learned helplessness may adopt a passive attitude, and may not take responsibility for their own learning. They may also blame external factors for their failure rather than taking responsibility for their actions. This is another area where the Circle of Courage can overcome helplessness. Not only does proper development of mastery help with passive attitudes, focusing on student generosity (specifically, sharing skills with one another that can help with class activities) can build a sense of community and healthy accountability to their peers.

      It's important to note that these signs can be indicative of other issues as well, therefore, teachers should be cautious when making a diagnosis of learned helplessness in students. If you notice signs of learned helplessness in students, it's important to reach out and provide them with the support and resources they need.

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      Promoting Inclusion in the Classroom through Generosity

      Promoting inclusion in the classroom is crucial for creating an equitable, safe learning environment for all students. The good news is that intentional inclusion is instrumental to being trauma-informed. The key lies within the Circle of Courage. This model for positive youth development provides four critical areas to explore, but for now let’s focus on the universal need of generosity. By focusing on and practicing generosity, we can create a more inclusive classroom, where students feel a sense of belonging, can gain mastery over the material and develop independence. In this blog post, we will explore how incorporating acts of generosity in the classroom can promote a more inclusive environment for all students.

      Strategies for inclusion and generosity in the classroom

      Effective efforts to teach generosity don’t need to be grand or complicated. When properly structured and monitored by teachers, it can be as simple as everyday group work! Help your students enrich their sense of generosity with these fun activities:

      • Collaborative Learning: Create small groups of students with diverse backgrounds (which can be as simple as their background in your classroom—what skills can you pair/group together who don’t normally interact to accomplish a challenge together?) Encourage students to share their unique perspectives and skills, and to rely on one another for support. Provide an opportunity for groups to share what they appreciated about what others brought to their team.
      • Random Acts of Kindness Challenge: Encourage students to perform random acts of kindness towards their classmates, such as leaving a positive note on a classmate's desk, offering to help a struggling student with their work, or sharing materials with someone who forgot theirs at home. Students should be intentional about helping those who they don’t regularly play or study with. Have students reflect on the impact of their actions and discuss as a class how these small acts of generosity can promote a culture of inclusion and belonging in the classroom.
      • Generosity Day: Set a day of the week where students can come in and share something with their classmates, it can be an item or a skill. Incorporating items/skills important to family traditions or cultural background can help further promote inclusion. Exit notes for the day can challenge students to celebrate their favorite contribution and what they learned about their fellow student who presented it.
      • Empathetic Icebreakers: A tried and true staple throughout classrooms, icebreakers are fun—and can be powerful tools for connection. Challenge your students by designing your icebreaking topics around opportunities for inclusion. From familial trivia to hopes and dreams for their futures, these icebreaker discussions can peel back guarded layers of students to celebrate their true selves with their peers. As students get to know each other better, the icebreakers can shift to challenge students to seek out and compliment students for their uniqueness or perhaps what they’ve noticed that student does well.
      • READ!: There are thousands of age-appropriate books to help students be more sensitive about their classmates’ lived experiences. A quick Google search for “books to teach diversity and generosity” is a great starting point.

      No matter the activity, it’s critical that teachers set up their students for success. Use your knowledge of each kid that the rest of the class might not have that will help celebrate their skillset. Afterward, always be intentional about debriefing activities to gauge what impact these activities might have on your class and adjust moving forward.

      What other activities do you find help students explore their sense of generosity through an inclusive lens? No matter your approach, the first step should always be the bond formed between the teacher and every student. You can learn more about breaking down barriers to learning and relationships through 10 Steps to Create a Trauma-Informed Resilient School.

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      8 Quick Ways for Youth to Practice Gratitude

      Gratitude is thankful appreciation and acknowledgement of the goodness a person receives or experiences in their life. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater well-being. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

      Despite the solid research supporting gratitude, when life is challenging it becomes more natural for many of us to focus on problems; what we aren’t feeling or experiencing; things we don’t have - than it is to practice gratitude. But, intentional and simple gratitude practice will allow you and the youth in your life will reap all of the benefits being grateful has to offer.

      Notice. Simply notice when you are interacting with another person who makes you smile or feel good. This can be on the phone or other virtual platform.

      Say thank you. Verbally say thank you to others for their smile, their friendship, helping you, making you dinner, etc. Say thank you to yourself for carrying on even when you are tired, for taking the time to practice gratitude even if it doesn’t come easily.

      Write a thank you text, email or note. Take a minute or two to send a text, email or thank you note to someone who has made a positive impact on your life. Instead of just thinking about it, reach out and let them know.

      Breathe. Take one deep breath and be thankful for the air you breathe and how it fills your lungs.

      Acknowledge a positive experience. Acknowledge a positive experience by writing it down in a notebook or by telling someone about your experience.

      List your VIP(s). Make a list of the very important people in your life. You may have one or you may have many. Write down their names and be thankful they are in your life.

      One-a-day. At the end of the day, write down (or even think of) one thing that happened or one thing you experienced that made you grateful.

      Gratitude Jar. Find a jar (or box, basket, bowl) and ask your family or friends to all identify one thing or person they feel gratitude for – and add everyone’s gratitude to the jar. Once filled, take out one piece of paper at a time and everyone can share their contribution.

      Expressing gratitude is crucial for professionals as well! It is the first line of defense against compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, and burnout. My colleague and Starr's Senior Trainer Erin Madden Reed explains this important connection in Practicing Resilience: Essential Self-Care Strategies for Helping Professionals. Watch below and follow the links in the description for the course page.

      Learn more with these offerings from Starr Commonwealth

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      Building Mastery in Your Classroom

      Mastery is reaching our potential with supports. Mastery is NOT perfection.

      The second universal need according to the Circle of Courage resilience model is MASTERY. When we talk about mastery we are not talking about perfection but rather the engagement in activities and tasks with adequate supports in place to allow ourselves to feel good about both our efforts and accomplishments. We all require various levels of support to reach our unique potential. Without support, there is often frustration, giving up easily and not enjoying the learning process. This is true with new rules, academics, sports, hobbies and even social situations.
      Any person, of any age, will feel empowered and motivated when given experiences and opportunities to engage in activities that bring them connection and joy and learn new ideas and concepts that have meaning to their lives. When activities and learning are coupled with encouragement, patience and support, resilience builds.

      • When teaching in-person or in a virtual classroom, some students may need additional (or even ongoing) verbal or visual reminders about rules and etiquette.
      • Developmental age rather than chronological age should always be considered to set students up for success. If a student is developmentally more of an 8 year old than his chronological age 12, what might you modify or provide as a support to help him stay engaged in your lesson?
      • Scaffolding new ideas and concepts with a breakdown of steps helps.
      • Peer to peer or small group discussions allow for both connection and collaboration.
      • Provide real life examples in your teaching.

      What are some of the ways you offer support to your students to set them up for success? Much like the Belonging staff self-assessment, Starr Commonwealth offers an assessment to gauge how you are building Mastery in your classroom. Download your free copy below!

      Download your Mastery self-assessment

      Learn more about building Mastery in your classroom with my colleague L. Kathryn Hart in Starr's course Healing Trauma & Restoring Resilience in Schools.

      Our full Circle of Courage staff self-assessment is featured in Starr's 10 Steps to Create a Trauma-Informed, Resilient School. This resource provides the foundation to empower students, staff, and family. Not only does 10 Steps feature easy to implement steps, but includes case studies, worksheets, and behavior intervention forms. Purchase today and save 50%!
      Claim your limited time offer!

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      Fostering Connections through Who I Am Worksheets

      School connectedness is a significant protective factor for all students in preventing substance abuse, violence, absenteeism, suicide emotional problems and eating disorders. Students who feel connected to their school are also likely to have better academic achievement. Now, more than ever – even in a virtual setting, child caring adults must foster connections. Connection is made through ongoing and repetitive moment-to-moment interactions school professionals have with their students. For some, the guide of 5:1 noticing is useful. Aim for at least five positive interactions to every one corrective interaction with each student per day. Noticing comes in many forms:

      • Greet the student by name.
      • Praise for participation.
      • Acknowledgment of character strengths.
      • Gratitude for kindness or helpful interactions between yourself and student or student and peers.
      • Checking-in: “How is your family doing?”
      • Friendly gesture like a wave or head nod.

      This may seem like a simple intervention strategy but it is powerful. Every interaction we have with a student matters because it provides an opportunity to promote a sense of safety and engagement.

      To take fostering connection with your students a step further, you can use the worksheet Who I Am available to download below. Students can be asked to complete this worksheet and it can then be shared in classroom meetings, office hours and small group sessions with students and their peers.

      Download the Who am I worksheet

      Fostering connections is Step 3 in Starr's 10 Steps to Create a Trauma-Informed, Resilient School. This resource provides the foundation to empower students, staff, and family. Not only does 10 Steps feature easy to implement steps, but includes case studies, worksheets, and behavior intervention forms. Purchase today and save 50%!

      Claim your limited time offer!

      More related resources from Starr Commonwealth

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      Are You Building a Sense of Belonging for Your Students?

      In Native American and First Nations cultures, significance was nurtured in communities of belonging. Lakota anthropologist Ella Deloria described the core value of belonging in these simple words: “Be related, somehow, to everyone you know.” Treating others as kin forges powerful social bonds that draw all into relationships of respect. Theologian Marty observed that throughout history the tribe, not the nuclear family, always ensured the survival of the culture. Even if parents died or were not responsible, the tribe was always there to nourish the next generation.

      In the classroom, ensuring a sense of belonging for each and every student is critical for success. While this theory is easy to grasp, the reality of developing that sense of belonging isn’t always as clear. To support educators in their everyday practices, Starr has developed a simple self-assessment to help you reach your universal needs goals. Below, Dr. Soma explains the self-assessment tool in our latest Back to School During a Pandemic episode. Click below the video to download your belonging self-assessment. You can print it out, post it around your desk, and ask yourself each week how well you did building belonging!

      Download your belonging self-assessment

      Our full Circle of Courage staff self-assessment is featured in Starr's 10 Steps to Create a Trauma-Informed, Resilient School. This resource provides the foundation to empower students, staff, and family. Not only does 10 Steps feature easy to implement steps, but includes case studies, worksheets, and behavior intervention forms. Purchase today and save 50%!

      Claim your limited time offer!

      More related resources from Starr Commonwealth

      Developed by Starr’s 2nd President, Dr. Larry K. Brendtro (PhD), and his colleagues, the Circle of Courage® provides the philosophical foundation for Starr’s resilience-focused approach to working with children, families, and communities, in addition to the work of Reclaiming Youth International.